Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
