There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
