took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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