But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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