how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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