big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
