Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
