summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
