so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Of course I have a pirate flag
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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