so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
