We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
