I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
