am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
