Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
His nipple licking is glorious
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