...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
