no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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