I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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