do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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