Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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