I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
