Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
