best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Can't talk, ducks in the car
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
