It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
