is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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