Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
my shit smells like andre
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
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