You just made me feel so damn special
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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