There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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