you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
