So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Found your dick twin last night
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
