I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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