Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
