Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
