Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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