thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
