i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
