Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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