it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
