my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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