forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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