my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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