fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
