If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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