I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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