Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
