Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
