The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
