Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
