And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
