a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
