I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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